Balancing the feminine and masculine

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This month on the newsletter, contemplations on balancing the feminine and masculine energies that reside within us all, along with a breath work practice that will guide us into equilibrium. Please enjoy!

I have been noticing how, for the past 5 years, I have romanticized being exclusively in my expression of feminine energy, believing that, to feel good, she needed to lead at all times. Of course, as with anything in life, finding a good balance, is really the key. Depending on the need of the hour, we need to call on either our masculine or our feminine to step up.

As winter comes to a close and I reflect upon this notion, I find myself pondering, “how have I showed up for myself through the coldest months of the year”? I have gone through a significant transitional period and the past 8 months have not looked like luxurious self care. The dark winter months coincided with some of the darkest moments of my life. I was not always able to hold onto an abundant state of mind, I often didn't feel balanced, my creativity felt stunted and sensuality was not at the top of my list of priorities. 

What I desired, was to be like The Empress, the feminine fully expressed. Despite what I was going through, I wanted to feel completely connected to and in alignment with the earth. I wanted to be both active and receptive. Able to let creative expression effortlessly flow through me. I wanted to be nurturing and strong, sensual and abundant. But I wasn’t that. I was in survival mode. 

I realized that I needed to call in my masculine side to get through the initial tough stuff that I was experiencing. I focused my attention on a project….building a tiny home for my son and I. Everyday, I had a purpose and a list of things to accomplish. In this way my masculine stepped up and protected me by creating stability until I could soften, exhale a little and focus on the inevitable emotional ebbs and flows. I allowed myself to be exactly where I was in my life and I am so grateful for that part of myself for leading the way.

After such an extended period of time of putting my head down and getting to work I eventually noticed that the time had passed where my inner masculine needed to be leading. I had let it go on for too long and my feminine energy was being stunted. It felt difficult to allow that side to settle back and reestablish balance between the two poles. It was safe to let my feminine energy guide and I wasn’t sure exactly where to start. I decided to note all of the small ways that I actually was calling in The Empress energy so that I could build upon that and allow my feminine nature to flourish.

Here’s the list that I came up with:

-sleeping until the sun naturally rises

-setting up quiet play for my son so that I could have a 20 minute breath work practice

- post dinner dance parties

- occasionally cancelling all of our plans so that I could stay home for the whole entire day without errands (something that rejuvenates, grounds and energizes me)

- cooking and baking from scratch

- reading in bed for 15 minutes first thing in the morning

- having “just because” parties with my nearest and dearest friends (I am very blessed to have the most beautiful friendships and community).

- Going for quiet walks in the forest

In intentionally naming where I was letting my softer side shine through, it opened a door, allowing a deeper understanding of myself and the restoration of balance within and without.

The Empress, similar to any God or Goddess, is an archetype, something to aspire to and look upon in moments of need, not something to emulate at all times. We are multifaceted and multidimensional beings and flowing (or sometimes stumbling) through the different seasons of our lives is what makes us such beautiful beings. So, as I sit here now, imperfect as ever, but more in balance and at peace than I have felt in a long time I would like to offer you a moment of inner reflection, some questions to contemplate, perhaps writing in your journal or sitting in your favourite spot and gently meditating, followed by a 20-minute breathwork practice to bring inner peace, balance and unity. Feel free to return to this pranayama practice every single day or whenever feeling of imbalance arise.

Do I feel energetically balanced in my day to day life?

Do I experience burn out on a regular basis? What helps ease the burnout?

What are some ways that I nurture my masculine energy and what are some ways that I nurture my feminine energy?

Do I think that residing mainly in my masculine or feminine energy is better for me? Why?